My friend who helps developments and cities with their water supply, has asked me to continue water testing for him and a little more.
I was getting $5 a test last year and this was a pain in the ass. I had to make a trip into town to complete the test and frequently it wasn't convenient so I had to make a special trip.
Now in Panama, $5 is OK money. I am reluctant to give this up because who knows what the future will bring.
Now I am busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. But all could change in a flash.
So he agreed to double the fee to $10 and I agreed to do it.
We have a play/show next week where we are playing 4 songs. Not a problem, you say.
Well, I was gone for a week and Yella has been sick so we have not rehearsed the songs. And I have to learn 3 new songs.
I m not the sharpest blade in the draw for learning new material.
One of the songs is the beautiful George Harrison tune, "Here comes the sun". This is a tricky little ditty on the guitar and it looks like I am not going to make it in time for the performance.
So we are working up yet another song as a back up for my possible failure to be prepared.
Last night Yella felt well enough to do some rehearsing. She was not 100% but good enough.
Unfortunately, I was in a surly mood because I don't have enough rehearsal time to suit me and I am getting up tight about being ready. She was a little off because she is still sick.
Didn't go well...but we did get one song started.
I hope to get some more rehearsal time! Things may get dicey. Hell, they are already dicey.
We start rehearsals for the Broadway Review piece on Saturday. Today, I start rehearsal for El Grade de Coca Cola.
Both these plays are in late May and early June so it is not as bad as it may sound.
But, it is busy.
And I have to get my Panama taxes done...a big job because we finished the house last year.
And, my old company wants a big chunk of work too.
I have often heard about the problems with retirement for career oriented people. And, yep, I have experience them first hand.
To move from a life full of effort and focused commitment to a life of leisure is tough. ( I know, you are playing the world's smallest violin for my troubles.)
My days used to be consumed with running a business. This takes at least 12 hours a day when the commute, working hours and mental ruminations are all considered.
That's a lot of time out of each day.
Why?
Well, you need something to do!
Something to replace all that time spent on business or work.
I am learning that Boquete is ideal for the transition into retirement. I didn't know this would be so difficult and that I would be so lucky to end up in a community that helps the process.
This place is full of retired people...most of them ready and willing to do things. All sorts of things...from playing to entertainment to starting and running non-profits to traveling or simply relaxing together.
It would be harder to find these people back in my old home town.
Our life is full, maybe too full.
We desperately need another car because we are coming and going in different activities and at different times now. We live too far out of town for the taxis and buses so a car, bicycle or walking are the only resources, and bicycles and walking only go so far.
Yesterday I rode my bicycle into town for breakfast. Then we returned at 11 for Improv followed by lunch with Improv people. We returned at 6 to preform Improv at a Happy Hour then dinner with some friends, getting home at 9 in the evening.
A full day and I didn't talk about all the music practice and working out songs we did in the afternoon.
I personally love it!
I like to stay busy. I like to socialize and stay connected to people.
And I was having a hard time with retirement. So all this activity is very welcome.
A note about Improv...
Last night we performed 30 minutes of Improv comedy for a group of about 60 people. And it went well.
Typically, Improv is very spotty in the funny department. Most of it doesn't work. That's just the nature of Improv.
But last night most it worked. Finally, we have a competent group of performers. And, we included the audience in the skits. They love it!
It is magical to do spontaneous skits and have people laugh. It helps if they want to laugh. And we have a wise director who includes the audience into the skits.
The thing about Improv is that the audience thinks they can do it too, even though it is more difficult than it looks. So, if it is set up right, the audience CAN do it, with a little help from the performers.
I am writing this blog while watching TV with Dan and Lily, multi tasking, feeling like a member of the younger generation, who are ALWAYS doing 2 or more things at once!
The fast pace, availability of flashy media and the over stimulation of LA is addictive for sure. I am having trouble picturing myself sitting around, doing one thing at a time. I can see why we love this action.
As I have been hanging out with Dan & Lily, the phone goes off with--instant messaging--email--the actual telephone--and the Internet--continuously. All seamlessly part of what ever we are doing.
How do they do it?
I am a little worried about them. What happens if the damn thing dies? Life as they know it would end, leaving what?
And, the damn thing is useful.
We consulted Sprint GPS to get on-going directions to where we were going, the Internet to book a motel room, Google maps to get directions to Vegas, the location of movies and on and on.
It is useful.
Not to mention music and DVD's.
In a few minutes, Dan will take me to the airport. No Internet unless I am willing to pay for it...and I'm not. No cell phone because mine doesn't work in the US...just me and a book.
I have to take my hat off to Dan & Lily for providing a Knock My Socks Off 4 days in the US. Full of the best entertainment...we saw Avatar in 3D this afternoon...Love in Vegas...both at the top of their media.
Oh, did I mention that Lily got tickets to see the Kings and Avs play hockey? That is the first time I've scene a pro hockey game.
So many first! So much great stuff.
And the best...visiting with them!
I feel completely thrilled with the trip.
And, I will be relieved to get home...this pace was fantastic for 4 days and much appreciated. And the normal pace of my life in Panama will be welcome.
Every now and then, if you are lucky, you get to see something truly remarkable, a giant leap of creativity beyond anything you've seen in the past.
But not in Vegas...
This sewer of humanity, the wholesale fleecing of the unwashed masses, duping the unsuspecting minions.
Yella and I played music at the Mint Hotel in downtown Vegas in the 70's. We learned what drives Vegas and it is not pretty. I have refused to return after all these years.
Each hotel employs staffs of psychologists, sociologists and human behaviorists that do nothing but spend inordinate amounts of time figuring out how to get your money. You think I'm kidding? Go check it out for your self.
And they are the best in the world at it.
As I looked around Vegas at the throngs of people, it was like watching the lambs herded to slaughter. Mostly wide-eyed country bumpkins with their families, or worse, with their drunken buddies, shuffling into the lion's den to lose ALL their money.
So you get the picture, I do not like Vegas. Not now, not in the 70's, not ever.
And in the middle of all this crap, arises a show that transcends the decadence and gets to, well...love.
The first few minutes of the show are deeply emotional.
It was a little embarrassing...to be moved that strongly.
And it kept happening...5 or 6 times in the show.
They re-mixed the Beatles, with the Beatles own music tracks, and sometimes a little more, to succeed in out Beatling the Beatles.
I know that makes no sense but I can't articulate it any other way.
Then they added the physical presence and physical artistry of the Cirque Du Soleil, an outrageous multi-dimensional set and lighting, glorious sound, and I have no idea what else, to come up with a startling, moving, deeply emotional, thrilling 90 minutes of pure heaven!
Wow!
Superlatives fail me in this description. It simply will not do the show justice to say things like "stupendous, extraordinary and so on", so I won't.
Thank you Daniel for getting me there to see it. Left to my own devices, I would never have gone.
I have been without a computer for over 3 months. Begging, borrowing and stealing time from Yella and others.
Living in Panama almost demands a computer, especially for me. I get a lot of stuff on the computer...guitar lessons, my blog, an international phone and future work not started because of no computer.
Plus all the videos, music and pictures I have not viewed or listened to because it was to awkward to use up time on someone else's computer.
Alright, back in the saddle with a new computer!
Lilly took me to the Apple Store while Dan was working. In fast, sleek and slippery LA. What a trip!
I got introduced to the space age.
This store has a couple dozen geeks standing around ready and able to help. The store was packed on Saturday but not a problem. Help was instantaneous.
We found what we wanted immediately. Lilly put the charm on this 19 year old geek. It was no contest. He was helplessly in over his head. She got her student discount for me and s shit pot load of info on this and that.
The entire transaction was started, negotiated and paid standing up at the display case with the clerk using a hand held device to do everything.
I was impressed.
Now on to LA.
My first thought upon entering the US is that the USA is perfect.
Everything is perfect.
No potholes, no broken sidewalks, all street lights working perfect, traffic moving in an orderly fashion, all hedges trimmed to perfection, as much hot water as you can stand and on and on...
I know, it's not perfect but coming from a 3rd World Nation, it sure does look perfect.
And expensive...I forgot that part!
We had breakfast for 3 which cost with tip $38. It was a great breakfast but what breakfast can be that good!
We are going to Vegas tomorrow to see the show "Love". It will be a boys night out. Lilly has opted to stay home.
Look out Vega! Well, that is an idle threat! After all, how much trouble can you get into drinking only heavily sugared coffee.
Tomorrow it is off to Panama City and then to LAX, all in one day.
I leave the house at 11 am and arrive in LA at midnight. Not bad!
I am definitely suffering from Big Project Is Over Let Down. I find myself bored for half the day. And there is a lack of purpose in life.
This morning, I rode my bicycle into Olga's for breakfast...OK so far. I talked to some new comers and gave them some help. Enough that they bought my breakfast.
Then back home to pick up Yella and on to Improv at 11. Followed by lunch with friends and home.
Then I visited a friend at his house for a while and back for dinner and a movie.
The movie sucked but it was a new one so it sucked newly.
So this day was pretty busy but it still feels empty of something significant.
While I am in LA, I will get a new MacBook computer...finally! I have been without for over 3 months. Not fun...too much stuff on my computer that supports my days, like guitar lessons.
And apply for Social Security benefits. Finally, the money will start flowing this way!
And, visiting my son. I am looking forward to the visit. And screwing around, and whatever else he has in mind.
A huge project...this one was 8 weeks long...leaves deep satisfaction now that it is complete.
Yesterday, the day after closing night, we met for tear down at 9 in the morning. Then we had a cast party from noon to four.
So Sunday was still a "play" day.
Today was the first day after...the first day of freedom...a day of no directed activity...a F#$#@! off day.
Halleluiah!
The whole process leaves me feeling satisfied and serene. Knowing we did a good job. Even though it was nip and tuck for the first week of performances.
So what am I left with?
I got to complete a project that I thought I couldn't do. That's big stuff. Not enjoyable, but big. I didn't do it gracefully, I did get nasty from time to time, but in the end, I got it done. I learned over a thousand lines, 120 pages of intricate, closely timed conversation with multiple characters. That is some feat...for me at least.
I learned that I can act.
I made some very, very good friends.
On one night out of six, I was in the zone, the groove, the pocket. I experienced on night of magic. That's big.
I do like adventure and challenge. This satisfied both, probably a little too much.; now that it is over, I can appreeciate it.
Am I glad I did it?
Yes.
If I knew what I was in for, I would never have decided to do it. Only ignorance and naivete had me do it.
Will I do it again?
Not soon!
I will take on smaller roles and maybe, just maybe, in the future, a year or more out, i will consider another big role. Only I want more time for the next one.
We were out until 11:30 last night with a few folks after the play. I was beat, then Yella spilled a soft drink all over my jeans and legs.
So, I was ready to leave pretty quick.
This late night stuff is new for us...well, at least in the last 20 years.
I rode my bike into town for breakfast and, who do I run into, but the director of the play.
I made sure we sat with some other friends to dilute "the play effect." Constantly talking about the play.
He is a good guy and I enjoy his company but I am a little pissed off at him for constantly dinging me about missing little tiny lines in his scene.
For God's sake, he should suck it up! Everybody misses lines. What makes him so special, anyway! You'd think he was the director or something.
It was one of those long, conversation filled breakfasts that I am so fond of down here.
The weather is perfect...calm, warm and inviting.
On the ride back to my house, I passed a couple that I know who were out running. We talked and rode/run for a while, all good fun...it was down hill...my favorite!
Upon returning to our house, Yella and I had some fun discussing awards she is giving out at the cast party tomorrow. I thought they were a little tame but she is probably right to lay off the sarcasm.
Sometimes taking the high road just doesn't hit the spot.
Closing night this evening, followed by tear down Sunday morning and a cast party at our house at noon.
I will be soooooo glad when this is over. I will miss hanging out with the cast and crew but I am ready to give it a rest!
We have made a couple of great friends, the ones you keep for years. That makes it all worth it!
Wednesday afternoon, after being off for 4 days, we had a run through rehearsal for the play.
It was a disaster.
We stalled several times and had to be fed lines to continue. I got completely derailed by the producer who got snide with me about sloppy memorization. Then, I was fixated on "doing it right" which is always bad form for anything live.
At one point, I froze. Uh oh.
So it was back to the bedroom to re-do and practice lines, to try and avoid a miserable Thursday night. And practice I did, over and over and over again. My relationship to repetition is a little different now.
With much trepidation, we started the performance on Thursday night.
Something snapped into place for me. The lines came effortlessly. The performance was easy, spontaneous and fast!
At first I was worried about over acting. I was loud...really loud way back to rear wall. And I was trying new things, just in the moment.
I knew I was in the zone, the pocket, the groove. I could feel it.
I am familiar with this way of being from speaking and playing music. It is magical because it is impossible to do anything wrong. Everything works. As if by magic.
And, it was a magical night.
I was hoping I would have one of these nights. It would be impossible to evaluate my relationship to acting without a night like this.
Now I know what it feels like to actually act. Go figure!
During the First Act, the director wandered over to Yella, who was running the lights, and whispered, "well, finally we get to see some acting from Tom."
I'm not sure what acting is, but I got closer last night.
We are sold out all week.
This will mean that about 350 will attend the play, which I believe is either a record or close to it here in Boquete. Most producers plan on about 250 people attending.
Now, the big problem is keeping the performances up and consistent without falling back.
We'll see.
(P.S. It is hard to get pictures of the play because no flashes are allowed. There was a journalist attending last night trying to take pics without a flash. If I can, I will get some pics)
On another note, the weather has shifted out of the windy season (summer) to the beginning of the rainy season, my favorite.
Calm, sunny mornings, rain in the afternoon and everything is green, green, green.
(I thought you might like to read a review of the play. This was published in Boquete-Guide.com, a popular blog about life in Boquete. It is an exert of a larger article. )
From the El Pomodoro, Mayara and I migrated to the ROCK, a new restaurant, not for dinner, but for Syliva, the latest production of the Chiriqui Players. I was concerned since Mayara does not speak a word of English. I had told her a friend, Pam Pankratz was going to play a dog and she did not want to miss the event. Pam, you were great right down to biting your leg to deal with those nasty fleas; bravo. Pam your body language jumped the barrier of spoken words.
Since Jim Hatch (Director) arrived in Boquete the quality of theater has jumped from High School to near professional. What was astounding to me were the individual performances. Narin Kennedy in her first effort on stage was amazing. Narin if I did not know you better, I would think you were type cast, but I know you are not a dog hating school teacher type. You demonstrated great skill in a great role. The same for Tom Werder who was also in his first role. As a person who has never dared to be on stage I salute all of you, the copious support staff that made this possible and direction behind it all.
I've been waiting until we finished a couple of performances to give you my assessment of being in a play.
Saturday night was sold out with many theater people in the audience. It was as good an audience as we will ever get, so their reaction to our performance is as good as it will get.
They liked it. Some were impressed. Some simply enjoyed it.
And that's about they way it went.
When I read the play, I thought it was side splitting funny. The response indicates the play is humorous but not side splitting.
On this account, I am disappointed.
That is where the disappointment ends though.
I am happy with my performance. Most people enjoyed it. A few who I trust to give accurate feedback and not blow sunshine up my ass, told me I did a good job.
For a first time out, that is more than enough to be very pleased.
And, this has been one of the Top Ten challenges of my life! The amount of time, effort, dedication, producing results beyond my limits and st-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g me out of my comfort zone...hell, discomfort zone...was extraordinary.
It seems somewhat trite to include this frivolous, make believe effort in life's Top Ten projects. Until I consider all the fear and terror I faced. And, I had to produce with a skill that is non-existent in me, memorizing.
So frivolous or not, this was a BIG one!
What I loved most was working with the cast.
The leading lady has never acted before. She brought charm, affinity and kindness to a part written as a fed up, angry, unsympathetic woman. Without her warmth, this character would have ground down into an angry shrew. A job well done!
The dog was played to perfection by a woman who has acted for only 1 year. Her physical humor will be legendary in the community for months to come.
The others were equally good in their own right. Plus, we got to watch a seasoned pro do a bit part to the hilt.
Now, was it worth it...
Hell yes! Sort of...after the pain wears away...
Once in while maybe, but not a steady diet.
I can safely say this because the suffering is in the past.
This has been a great way to get plugged into a community and become part of. I have 3 requests to be part of future productions. Each one with different and varied people in the community.
I am considering doing all three.
What you say? Watch out, we remember how miserable you were preparing for this one!
Not to worry, they are small parts, some with as little as 5 lines.
Friday night we had a smaller audience of 40 people.
As the play progressed, they were quite. Which is unnerving. Tittering but no big laughs in the first act. The second act did have some bigger laughs but all in all, subdued.
Then they gave us a standing ovation...
Go figure!
I guess it is hard to say through all the powerful stage lights and concentration what is really going on with the audience.
I was grateful for their ovation.
As for the performance, we dropped some significant sections of the play...skipped them...forgot them...no one knew, so all was well.
I still haven't settled into this role.
Saturday night is sold out with mucho friends and community actors coming. I sure hope it goes well.
Unless you have been living under a rock for the last few decades, you know the advantages of living in the moment--in the Now. People actually go live in caves trying to attain this.
They might take up acting instead.
One of the gifts of acting before a live audience is being 100% in the now. Anything less spells disaster. 99.9% will catapult you into confusion, flubbed lines and shear terror.
Consequently, the time on stage zips by. An hour seems like a flicker of light on a dark night. Very fast, indeed.
Now for Opening Night.
There is an old adage: Good dress rehearsal, bad opening night.
We had an inspired dress rehearsal...so you can guess what the opening night was like.
It wasn't that opening night was bad, it just wasn't inspired. People got a good show, we delivered.
In the first couple of minutes, we stalled...the most dreaded condition on stage...three of us on stage...no one had a clue what was the next line...no on had a clue what got dropped...no one had a clue where we were in the scene...silence...and it goes on and on and on...maybe 10 seconds...a life time on stage.
But we got through it.
There were many laughs and even a tear or two at the end, more about this in a moment.
It is impossible to predict what will go wrong. In the second act, no one got the actor from the dressing room for his entrance in the next scene. The music stopped, the lights went up and...NO ACTOR.
Wholesale panic!!!
By the time the actor hit the stage, he was FRIED! Fortunately, he was the one and only seasoned, professional actor in the group and he handled it like a pro. A little ragged, but he got through it.
Now that was impressive!
Back to the Now.
This is how little it takes to throw off my concentration.
For the very last act, 90 seconds only, my stage wife and I talk directly to the audience from the stage. Very unusual in a play. Very powerful!
In this scene, the MOST POWERFUL EMOTIONAL LINE of the play is delivered by you know who, me.
Just before I went on stage, they told me to use a different picture of the dog...a much bigger picture. The stage manager whispered that she would put it on a chair on stage. (The last thing done in the play is showing the audience a picture of the dog.)
No problem, I would just go back and get it. Simple.
But...oh these damn buts...
When my wife walked on stage, she handed me the picture. I had no where to put it. I had to hide it from the audience. With the smaller picture, I put it between my pants and shirt in back, out of sight.
This is where the 100% concentration is broken. Now a small part of my mind is fishing around for what the F#$#@!! to do with the picture and I am delivering lines at 90% concentration.
The lines are coming out jumbled, one before the other, in an uneven flow. Plus, I am now pissed that I may flub the delivery of the most potent line in the play. My head was crowded with unnecessary crap, edging out the important stuff...the lines!
Rehearsal took over. The line came out almost right. The timing almost spot on.
The only thing missing was the necessary "way of being" to support the line. Hey, I was busy trying to figure shit out!
The line still had impact. Just not the resonating impact that culminates a great play.
Damn!
The audience didn't consciously now anything was wrong. They just didn't get the full impact of a great line, well delivered, supported with inspiration.
I went through that long diatribe to underline the tremendous Power of Now for acting, and well, probably everything else in life.
We delivered a play on the bottom wrung of competent.
Not bad considering! I was satisfied with it. I just wasn't thrilled.
Oh well, 5 more nights!!!
Let the show go on...
Oh, by the way.
This was opening night for the brand new restaurant where the play was held.
It is a minor miracle that anything worked at all, given all the newness and confusion.
(Practicing lines in the parking lot before it got dark)
Didn't get home 'till after midnight. That hasn't happen in a few decades.
Monday night we had a miserable rehearsal at the restaurant where the play will actually be performed, with lights and music. For the first time.
The added stuff threw me for a loop and I forgot, flubbed or plain old missed several dozen lines. It was intense and, more so, unnerving. I was left rattled to the core.
So, I started last nights rehearsal with trepidation.
We didn't even start until 9:30 pm. The tech crew was having problems and everything was delayed.
We waited from 6 to 9:30, just waiting and screwing around.
As it turned out, all went well. Oh, there were a few missed lines and such, but over all it went well.
I was so grateful.
Today I have been running lines in the trouble spots. I now understand how much repetition it takes to work up the lines. Over and over and over again. Dozens of times. Every day.
On one level, I will be ecstatic when this is over. I do want my life back.
And, I think we are going to have a pretty good play.
I finally got to ride my bicycle this morning and the damn brakes aren't working again. I have no idea what to do about this. I am frustrated.
I missed 4 days in a row for exercise and breakfast in town. I do love this routine. Missing it is a loss.
I should get back to...you know what...reading lines. Final dress rehearsal tonight with a small audience. Yipes! Not to worry. They are Panamanians who are studying English so they won't know what the hell we are saying.
Hard to flub a line when the audience can't understand it!
