Showtime!!!

With much fanfare, class, real spot light, packed small venue, ladies dressed to the nines, professional direction and production, this 1940's cabaret nightclub show...

was a huge success!

The audience ate it up! These are kind, enthusiastic people. Ready to have a good time...fiesta!!!

There are about 1000 Expats here. A play will draw 250 of them over 4 days. That's 1 in 4 people going out to attend an event. Remarkable. Nothing like this would ever happen in the states. The arts are appreciated and supported here at a high level.

This show was 2 nights only, 40 seats each night. It sold out in one week! Many people were turned away because the venue was small and there were only 2 nights.

It was a thrill to be part of this effort. As I got more comfortable on the drums and guitar, and learned the material at deeper and deeper levels, it was a hoot to perform. And stressful at times. But in the end, I felt great, at ease much of the time, and I hit the groove and let it rip for a few moments!

Now for the great performances...

One lady is an actress with a high level of mastery. She took the material and milked it. Way to go...a study in using acting to deliver a great performance in a singing venue.

Yella opened with a tender, quiet old standard. It was breathtaking. I have to admit, it moved me.

She kept taking it up to new levels. It is a rare treasure to be present when a pro with extraordinary levels of mastery takes the stage. She is such a master of the stage.

Even though the band was a little shaky, the "Big Time" show production, affectionate audience and performances made this a soaring evening...for me and for Boquete.

I hope to get pictures for you in the near future.

When Hell Freezes Over

I've said that we will get our Occupancy Permit when hell freezes over...it just did!

In my hot little hand is the Occupancy Permit.

I can't believe it.

Four months to get it.

Countless badgering of the builder, scheduling of inspections, missed or broken inspections, illnesses preventing inspections, training classes in the way, engineers out of town, failed inspections, corrections, more corrections ad nausium, then inspectors & engineers & workmen & contractors without vehicles to get to the site, doors locked at the site preventing inspections, demands for more paperwork, not copies but originals, typist out to lunch, and so many things that I haven't mentioned. All must be successfully traversed to get to the F$@#&%$!!! permit.

This is indeed the Land of You Can't Get It Done!

Who is that nitwit in the US that has the new popular big deal GTD. I think it stands for Getting Things Done by David Allen. How do these guys pop up for God's sake. Don't people know there are no magic answers. Send him down here and we'll get to watch his ass self destruct!

I can finally go to Union Fenosa, who have been WAITING FOR THE PERMIT, to see how long it will take to get our electricity installed. With any luck...and I don't count on any...it will be a couple of months, maybe October.

On the builder front, he is moving at a blistering pace now, maybe one person at the house working each day. Don't laugh. This is good, no better than good, fantastic! He may finish in a month. Go figure.

We are looking at furniture and appliances. Not buying of course. That would be way too optimistic but we are locating the stores and researching prices. Getting ready for the sprint to buy the stuff.

I'm just kidding. No need to get excited.

All did not go with out a hitch getting the permit. I had to submit all my original inspections and letters from the previous muckity mucks for them to give me the final permit. They didn't give them back. I looked at her with homicide in my eyes but she would only give me copies back.

So, on to the next campaign to get something done, retrieving my originals. This is one of the problems, redoing the work after it seems to be completed. It never ends here.

Who do these people think they are, anyway? Why do they create hell on earth for us gringos? Don't they have anything better to do!

Take It Like a Man, Gringo!

I am once again reminded that advice down here is always misleading...even though it is offered as the gospel truth.

The most recent advice was to file a "Denuncia" on our builder to prevent him from suing us if we get tough with him. We consulted our attorney and she said that's ridiculous. This is a criminal procedure. Our contract with the builder is civil not criminal.

At least we sought out advice from our attorney.

This is almost as bad as asking just any old person.

I learned long ago that advice from an attorney is akin to smoke and mirrors. It is based on who knows what and comes out of both sides of their mouth, quite a trick. No wonder most politicians are lawyers.

Anyway, she said that our strategy would open us up to a lawsuit from the builder.

Let me explain. I'm sure you are anxiously awaiting this info.

If we fire our builder because he has not finished the house, and withhold the last payment that was due upon completion (because it was never completed), he can sue us for breach of contract. We have to file a lawsuit on him first in civil court to prevent him from suing us.

No problem, you say. Well, that costs $2-3K and takes 2 to 4 years. Some solution.

But, then we could withhold the last payment and he can't sue us. Quite a price to pay for withholding the last payment which is worth only a little more than the cost of the lawsuit.

As it turns out, our lawyer has filed a lawsuit on every builder in Boquete over the last few years. That's the good ones and the bad ones. Every single last one of them...universal.

They are all bad, by our standards. She said that houses RARELY get finished by the original builder. They run out of money and can't finish...unless you give them some more money.

Hmmmm?????

Is this getting circular or what!

I don't know what we are going to do. We really don't want to file a lawsuit. This is a no win tactic. But we want the house completed.

I guess we bend over and take it like a man. (Where did that expression come from anyway?)

Such is life in Latin countries.

I REALLY mean it when I tell people to NEVER, EVER BUILD A HOUSE HERE!!!

Music Sunday

It's been music all day. And it's been a lot of fun.

We are preparing for 2 shows. One is thrilling and the other one is like pulling teeth but will work out in the end.

First, the thrilling one...

We have worked up a few songs with a couple that have become friends as well as musical partners. Unfortunately, they are returning to the states so he can get a PhD. We are squeezing in a couple more songs before they leave and we are performing at a benefit concert next Sunday.

In preparation for this, this morning, Yella and I worked out an old Dion song in a slow boogie blues style. We got it keyed right, lyrics and cords written out, ready to go.

The rehearsal was a hoot! It is such a pleasure to work with people who can master a song in one rehearsal! We will really miss them.

Now the other one...

This evening, we rehearsed for a 40's style cabaret night with 4 female vocalists. Both nights are sold out. Great concept but a lot of work. Yours truly is playing some drums and guitar on 2 songs. The piano player is in the same league as me so the band is pedaling fast and furious just to keep up! This causes a multitude of problems and challenges, like not losing the beat, remembering the cords, etc.

Yella is a little challenged by working with vocalists and a band that are in the amateur rather than professional arena. She is accustom to one rehearsal then the show. Not this time. Many long rehearsals. Still, her experience is shining through in a big way. I am sure she will steal the show.

Earlier in the day, I watched YouTube videos of guitar techniques that were inspiring. I learned how to properly finger pick the Crosby, Still and Nash song Helplessly Hoping, one of my favorites. I am amazed at the talent and genius of these artist.

Then I learned how to play blues utilizing the A7 cord up and down the neck. This is some big stuff for me. It is a great pleasure to be able to develop new skills.

This brings me to the Internet which has revolutionized playing music.

It is easy to find at least one if not several artists that preform the song you are working up on YouTube. Being able to see and hear the song played makes it so much quicker and easier.

Then, you Google the song. The lyrics and cord chart are right there. This used to be a task that took hours. Not any more. What a joy!

Walla!!! Instant music. Well, not that easy, but such an improvement.

I am having a good time with a new life filled with music. I didn't know how retirement would look. Now I am getting a glimpse of it.

Very satisfying. I may get the hang of this retirement stuff...in this lifetime.

How Do You Push on a Rope?

Dealing with passive/aggressive situations has always baffled me and pissed me off to the max! There is no winning this game.

I am talking about building our house, of course. And you thought I wouldn't rant and rave anymore. This is good news for you sickos and bad news for you more genteel readers.

What exacerbates it all, is that we have had 2 spurts of activity on the house (we're talking about 2 weeks only), which breeds hope, that devil of all emotions. If everything was in the toilet, I would know where we stand. But this, get some good things done and then NOTHING...I can't take it!

What is worse is that Yella and I are getting into it over how to handle the builder. She wants to hammer him and I want to nurse him along. To her credit, I have been teasing him along and you know how that's been going, so it's time for another approach.

I just don't think it will get any different results and may create legal or social issues in a foriegn land. What the hell, you only live once so I think we will let it rip!

The ultimatum...

We give him till September 1st to finish everything, complete. He either gets his final payment or we hire someone else to finish the house and deduct our expenses from his final payment.

Probably sounds like this is long over due to you. In the USA, I would agree fully. But we are in a foriegn land, with strange legal ramifications where who you know by far out weighs the intent of the law. We don't know any judges and I'm sure he does. He has a brother, sister, uncle, father, cousin or friend in everything.

Well, who knows, maybe it will work out and we won't have to face any trouble. That would be the best outcome. In our house on September 1st. One can only hope. There is that hope trap again.

In the mean time, Yella and I had to pull out all our training and past personal work to deal with our conflict. Thank God we have some!

I enjoy challenges but I have to admit, this one is too threatening for me.

Shopping in Paradise

Good, now I have the women's attention.

If this was Star Trek and you were transported into PriceMart, it looks the same as one in the good ole USA.

At first, the store looks similar to American counterparts. The differences start to soak in when you pick up a printer cartridge box and realise it is empty. What the hell?

When you go through the checkout line, they go into a locked back room and get your cartridge or any other small, expensive items.

Theft rules here. And, you will see all sorts of retail theft deterrents.

I went into a sports store at the Chirique Mall. (I know images of USA malls comes up but banish those images---this isn't the same type of mall) I picked out a box of shoes, opened it only to find one missing. They looked everywhere and never found it. What does someone do with one shoe?

We purchased lights for our house at Lumicentro, a great lighting store with thousands of light fixtures. There is always at least one English speaking clerk in most stores which helps this bilingually challenged soul.

After we loaded all the fixtures on a cart, they directed us to a desk where they opened every box, showed us that all the parts were included and nothing was broken. They tested all the light bulbs to make sure they worked.

Then, we paid for everything.

This is typical in Panama.

There are several reasons. First, they will break open a package and sell one of a set. No kidding! If you buy a set of guitar strings, beware...always check to see if all the strings are included. Second, people steal parts from boxes. (And a shoe!) Third, to insure that everything is unbroken prior to leaving so you can't come back and make a claim.

Another idiosyncrasy. Frequently, you are directed to a protected both to pay, then you take the receipt to a desk to retrieve your goods.

Many stores have armed guards. They don't look very dangerous but they are armed. Banks have two guards, one at the door and one inside. Mainly, they open the door for you and greet you.

I don't know what they think will happen. Or, what has happened in the past, but these guards don't look like they will stop trouble.

Oh, by the way. I wear a size 12 shoe in a country of small people. This is a problem. Not many 12's around.

OK, ladies, you thought I would tell you about some good deals, didn't ya. Sorry. This was just about the quirks of stores. I tricked you with the word "shopping."

Kids & Dogs Run Free

No leash laws here.

All the dogs are street smart. I guess the ones that didn't look both ways are not with us anymore.

It has been a long time since I have seen dogs running free. The USA clamped down on dogs a couple of decades ago. It was good. There are not many things as unnerving as running over an animal and the lease laws helped put a stop to that.

Here, dogs are rarely treated as a pet. Panamanians use them for security. And, they do a good job.

But not for pets.

When we first started to visit, strays were everywhere...mangy, starved, sickly. Not a pretty sight.

A spay and neutering clinic was started with remarkable results. Not many strays here anymore. They really cleaned the place up.

This is a piece of good work. Many volunteers help with the process. It is a well supported effort and it gets results.

Kids run free too.

I love this. It reminds me of my childhood when you walked to school, the swimming pool, the store and the movies. Free from worries about being hurt or kidnapped. Free to be a kid. Free most of all from that pesky adult supervision. Hard to be a kid with adults around.

Nothing better for a kid than freedom.

Now, children are sheltered and not allowed to run free. They have "play dates" for God's sake!.

What the hell has become of us that kids need "play dates." They will be born with Day Timers clutched in their little hands. Saying things like, "I will pencil you in for after school on Tuesday, but I may have a conflict." For crying out loud!

I am discussed by the USA in this respect.

Here, I see kids walking to school, to friends houses, to the park, to where ever.

I bumped into a gringo who has a 13 year old boy. He said on Saturday, he gives him $5 and the boy is off for the whole day, out exploring, playing, eating and involved in the freedom needed to develop as in individual.

I love it that kids run free. It is invigorating.

A little retro...but maybe that's really good.

Myth Buster #1

I can't tell you how many people told me, "when you get to Panama, you'll learn Spanish fast!

Myth: Spanish is easy to learn in a Spanish speaking country.

It's not. Especially in the beginning.

Granted, you do s-l-o-w-l-y learn the words to order food in a restaurant and greet people.

But that's about it. The rest is hard, arduous, time consumer work.

Let's consider the process.

First, you need to learn vocabulary. You will hear, by well meaning but ignorant people, just learn a word a day.

Forget it! There would be so many partially learned words running around in your head, you would be in a constant state of confusion.

When you first hear a word, you have to ask the speaker to repeat it at least 6 times just to get the spelling so you can pronounce it correctly. Now, you have to repeat it 30 to 50 times immediately in a futile effort to remember it. Even then, you will forget it and have to look it up a couple of times.

Now, you are at the point where you remember it and can repeat it to yourself. Like this:" what was the word for "too or also", oh ya, tambien." As you can see, you are not even close to ready to use this in a sentence or identify it when you hear it.

You move on to using it in your own sentences, about 20 to 30 times a day for a few days. The problem with this is: first you think to yourself, "I need to use tambien in a sentence," then you do. Language comes at you point blank, not proceeded by thinking.

This is not how we speak. In speaking, thoughts and words flow instantaneously out of our mouth. At this point, you may use the word in a sentence every 5th to 10th time you have the opportunity to use it. Not much yet.

Eventually, the word integrates into your mind and vocabulary.

But you see how much time and effort it takes to just learn one word!

There is a little magic from time to time. I was learning the word for breakfast, desayuno, a real bitch. I had been working on it for a couple of weeks. Now, I only have to pause a little before I use it. Now the magic. The word for dinner, cena, just popped out of my mouth and I didn't even try to learn it. A gift! I need more gifts.

Thank God for a free one every now and then.

And, you can't speak, hear or read by just knowing vocabulary. You have to understand how the language is constructed.

Now on to verbs. What a bitch!

You have to at least know the present, past and future tenses. Each tense has 5 different words in the conjugation, multiplied by the three tenses. You have to know 15 words for one verb. And this does not include some tenses that are important like the declarative tense, used a lot.

Verbs are really hard to master.

For most people, learning a new language is a big task. Many of the gringos down here gave up. They studied for months or even a couple of years, and can't make enough progress to keep going. So they quit.

I don't want to quit. We both are committed to learning the language. It's the only way to fully appreciate the country, and enjoy it.

Now to the good part. (As you may remember, I am going to share the good part so you don't think I hate it down here)

Success is so sweet! When you understand a sentence or one pops out of your mouth, it is a thrill.

Someone said, "If it's easy, it isn't worth doing."

I agree. Learning Spanish is a task worth doing. The benefits are enormous...integration into a culture, Panamanian friends, easy of living by being able to communicate.

I am also hoping it will ward off Alzheimer's or whatever is happening to me, I forget.

Believe it or not, I enjoy it. I just want you to know how hard we are working down here!

And, I just had to bust the myth. It's my job!

Change or Die!

This blog has got to change or be terminated.

Not a problem. This is my 100th blog. A long haul for sure. And, it has been a lot of fun. Many have kept up with the adventures of Tom & Yella. All good! But signs of problems are cropping up.

First, readership is dropping off. Don't give me that "it's summer, I'm too busy to keep up crap." Statistics are facts and the unvarnished truth must be confronted without explanation. Any other way is simply dishonest.

Second, I heard through the grapevine that some people think I hate being in Panama. This was never intended and must be corrected. Yes, I have been frustrated and challenged but I have never hated this great land. Just the opposite, I love it here. So, something is amiss and needs to be corrected.

I suspect my ranting and raving--let's call a spade a spade, bitching--about various aspects of Panama is getting old. Not to mention leaving you with the impression that I don't like it here.

When I first sobered up in the early 80's, I was miserable with my life but I was thrilled with the adventure and challenge of sobriety, the shear hard work and new ways of looking into life, the being stretched and pressed into different ways of living. Something worthwhile to live for.

I have always loved growth and development.

And, I have gone kicking and screaming down this path. It is my nature. Bitch, bitch, bitch but all the while loving it. Strange for sure, but full of passion.

Being here is similar to that.

It is damn uncomfortable down here. But that doesn't mean I don't like it. As a matter of fact, it is one of the aspects that I love.

I have said it in the past, Panama is a recovery center for type "A" personalities from North America. This is a magnificent thing! We need it. There is too much focus on accomplishment, like it's the new religion. Kinda like worshipping at the bank. While it has it's place, give me a brake, there is more to life than Getting It Done. I couldn't see it until I got here.

I have also said that this place will "Unspoil the American Brat." You should see us as the rest of the world see us. It is not pretty. Our bloated consumption is transparent to us until we gain a new perspective, like living outside our paradigm, like moving to another country. This will wake you up fast!

And, it's good thing.

I am not sure how I will change the blog but I know it must change.

I do offer an apology to those of you that have been mislead. Somehow, I didn't convey the joy and thrill of being confronted to the max. Kind of like a roller coaster that is a little too much...pushing the limits and, for a few moments, being unbearable.

It does get unbearable from time to time. But that is all part of the adventure.

This is a marvelous place. Great people, gorgeous weather, a way to grow, and adventure.

What more could you want?

Summer

Summer starts in December and goes through March when the kids are out of school for summer vacation.

This is also the dry season.

I know, Panama is in the northern hemisphere and summer is technically June through August. But not to the people here. After all, isn't summer really when you get out of school on vacation rather than some seasonal dictate?

Strangely enough, it is cooler in summer with stiff winds out of the north flowing down the continental divide. Riding on the wind is the bajareque, the fine mist of the cloud forest. Even though rain is rare, the bajareque will get you wet, on one side, the one facing the wind.

Yesterday, I told our builder that it felt cooler with the winds from the north. He said "summer." Summer is synonymous with cool, windy days. I remember last year, he would make a similar statement in the middle of the rainy season when a few days were cool and windy.

It has been summer for a couple of days. A nice reprieve from the rainy season. I think this is a quaint way of describing the days, by how they feel rather than the time of year.

I do like the rainy season. Calm days, sunny in the morning, cloudy in the afternoon with rain almost every day in the mid afternoon.

But, a little change once in a while is good for the soul.

Moving on....

I learned how to mail a letter to the US today. What? How come you can't mail a letter, you say? Well, there really is no mail service here. They claim to have it but it is ridiculous and completely ineffective. No one uses it.

Most of us use mail forwarding services like Mail Box Etc. Our mail is sent to Miami, bundled up and forwarded to a private mail box here. It is pricey. That is why we ask everyone to avoid sending us anything unless it is important.

I sent a 9 x 12 envelope priority mail. It cost a whopping $20 and will take about a week. I used an independent service, located off the beaten path in an alley. Anything to save a buck.

And this is by far the cheapest service in Boquete. Mail Box Etc. wanted $42 for UPS. I don't think so!

On another subject...

We were supposed to get our occupancy permit today but Panama strikes again!

When our builder went to the city engineer to present the final papers, he said one more inspection was necessary. It is supposed to be an automatic inspection (Fat chance that will ever happen).

It is always something here.

Survival requires letting it happen at it's own pace and not trying to force it. Believe me, I have learned the hard way.

Not worth it.

Sentimental Journey

I slept in until 8 this morning. Very rare. I got up in a mild panic because I didn't want to miss CBS Sunday Morning, one of the few TV shows I like to watch.

My dad loved this show. He would repeat information from the news vignettes and marvel at the stories. I think I got my appreciation for the show from him.

Plus, each Sunday I get a little memory of my dad. Very nice.

Today, Doris Day was one of the features. She sang many old, sweet 40-50-60's songs, many of them from movies. I don't really like these songs but I have to admit, they have a certain appeal, familiar and soft. Soooooo sweet. I gag a little just running them threw my head.

I noticed that these songs seem to put a happy or whimsical veneer over the top of life, which may not have been so carefree in those days. Maybe the country needed this respite from troubled times.

All this left me in a sentimental mood.

I looked out our window at a clear, cool, breezy morning, getting ready for a long hike, with thoughts of the past floating around my brain.

This life is so different from anything we have done, that I suspect I revert to old, pleasant memories to buffer myself from this strangeness. It is safer, for sure, than reality. And, somehow necessary. Maybe like a Doris Day song.

Sunday mornings are my favorite for reminiscing. I don't know why, but they just are.

Later today, we go to a rehearsal for an all music show at the end of the month. I am playing some drums and, I just heard, guitar. I am grateful for the activity.

Without the activity, those pesky anxieties will creep into my head.

Rain, Bugs and Flowers

Yesterday at 3 pm, I was looking out over the Caldera River Gorge. The clouds were pushing up from the sea, roiling and oozing over the hills, laden with water. It was breathtaking

to watch. Quiet, kinetic, overwhelming.

I don't know if the picture captures the awesome beauty of this but I thought I would show you a picture. It started to rain a few minutes later and didn't stop until 1 am. Mucho Lluvia!

The other picture is a flower that only blooms one day a year. Can you imagine, something this stunning is visible for only one day!

On another note, the bugs are fierce in Panama! We have trained ourselves to shake out all clothes and shoes, reach gingerly into cabinets, closets and drawers, and check the sheets before getting into bed.

Yella found a scorpion in bed yesterday. Freaky! Good thing she checked.

I have to admit, I am gun shy about bugs. If I feel something on my skin, I flinch. Most of the time it is cloth or a shoe lace rather than a bug. Sometimes not. I found a squirmy little green worm on my arm last night while we were playing music.

I don't like that!

Continuing on, we have not been able to reach our builder for a couple of days. Work has been progressing at a remarkable rate but no communication.

And, you know us neurotic gringos, we must talk! Talk, talk, talk.

Yella said after breakfast, "Let's go to his house." I didn't think he would be there and I said so. She accepted this without comment, so I thought.

We headed out to our house so Yella could see the weekly progress. On the way, Yella asked how come we are not going to his house. I said, we already discussed this, it was unlikely that he would be there. This became a little tiff.

You know: how come you do things with out asking me; because it was obvious; I don't care, you didn't ask me; and so on...

While we were having this pissing match, our builder comes driving down the road and stops.

Problem solved. We got a good laugh about this!

As it turns out, our house will probably be finished in TWO WEEKS!!!

No shit!

Now we have to scramble to get things done. Like buy appliances, furniture, towel racks, mirrors and more.

I am a little weirded out. I guess I didn't think our house would EVER get done.

All right! This is more fun than all the bitching over the last 6 months.

Uh oh, I might loose those of you who like the bitching. You sick people. But then again, there will still be much to bitch about.

We played 6 songs with our friends last night at a dinner with 120 people. The audiences are great here. They love everything. Plus, it got a little drunk out at the end of the second set. They would sing alone with anything at that point. And, they did. After all, it is a little hard to enjoy a 10 minute rendition of Bob Dillon's Knocking on Heaven's Door but they did and wanted more. Got to love the booze.

We did sound good, if I might say so myself. As always, Yella stole the show.

Yella & Tom Go to Market

I was up at 6 and hiking by 6:30. The mornings are clear and calm with a symphony of birds. Peaceful...beautiful.

After breakfast, we loaded up for a major buying spree in David. After a couple of mild arguments, we settled down to a pleasant morning.

If the pace is slow, the ride is enjoyable.

When we first arrived, I would go 100 kph (62 mph), tearing down the highway, careening around obstacles, slamming on the brakes to avoid slow buses. After a few weeks, I slowed down to 80 k/hr just to survive. Now, I drive 60 to 80 kph, a pace that is actually sustainable and safe.

It is amazing what a little time will do.

We stopped at Franklin Jurado for paint. We watched a clerk meticulously select our color, making sure he got it right. We couldn't believe how much care he used.

Paint is not cheap here. We paid $525 for 20 gallons of it.

Now, we confidently, well just a little sheepishly, march into stores and ask for help. We are starting to get over our reluctance to engage with the locals even though they know little English and we know less Spanish. It all works out. Hand gestures, broken language and help from a bilingual clerk gets the job done.

Just an aside. I called the doctor's office for an appointment but the lady didn't speak English so I hung up. I called back and got the same lady. This time I cobbed together enough Spanish to learn that an English speaking person would be available at 3 pm. I didn't know I had it in me to come up with the Spanish but it just popped out. Hurray! Necessity is the mother of invention and, I guess, language too.

We looked for gas hot water heaters, handles for drawers and cabinet doors, humidifiers, microwaves and such.

Before we headed to David, we stopped by the house. The iron worker was finishing up the burglars bars and the cabinet maker was finishing up the woodwork. A few corrections were requested but for the most part, things were going well.

I have been here for 6 months. A lot has happened in that short time.

Mainly, I have been acclimating to the culture. Sometimes well and other times poorly indeed. The last few days are an example of the latter.

Panama has a message for us North Americans: SLOW DOWN, QUIT BEING NEUROTIC, IT WILL ALL WORK OUT!

At times, this is one hard message to digest. I talked to a guy who has been here 10 years. He reports that it took him 3 years to get it.

Now he says he really likes it.

Something to look forward to.

As long as I'm not charging after some accomplishment or trying to get something completed, life is damn pleasant in paradise.

Expectation are Off Limits Here

Expectations...

The source of all my upset, rage and disappointment.

My mechanic blew me off again so he is not my mechanic anymore and I'm not replacing him.

We had an appointment yesterday at 3 pm. I called to confirm. You would think that would protect me against being blown off BUT NOOOOOOOO!!!

The jerk wasn't there. It took me 45 minutes to establish that he was indeed gone. He works at a Mission, which includes a dozen buildings, making the search tedious. As I asked each person where he was, they would tell me "just in the next building," successfully leading me around by the nose. When I finally called him, he said he didn't even think about contacting me to cancel. Oh well, he was sorry but helping the indigenous people is more important.

Sorry for sure.

Granted, he is a missionary with a Higher Calling and his first commitment is to help the indigenous people. I support his Higher Calling but couldn't he pick up the phone? Where did the virtue of courtesy go as well as the other Beatitudes in his Work. Let's call a spade a spade. He was inconsiderate and hiding behind his religion to justify his lack of courtesy.

Grrrrr!!!

I got up this morning and decided that I didn't care if the car ever gets fixed. It can disintegrate and blow away. I will walk, take buses or sprout wings and fly before I try to fix a F@#$!#@ing car here.

The automobile process is now, buy'm, use'm and throw'm away because fixing them just isn't worth the personal hell.

Do ya think I'm pissed? Can you see the 3 year old coming out? I'm going to my corner to pout now.

Miraculously, I had a great day!

I gave up the expectation of fixing the car! (I do notice that the rage bleeds threw every now and them)

On another front, the house is moving along at a good pace. More has been accomplished in the last week than in the last 3 months. I guess Yella's pep talk got the builder's attention this time.

We shall see.

Now, he is actually calling me and rushing us along. Get this, get that, decide this, meet me here, there...

Kind of fun. Like a building project should be.

On another note (bad pun for sure), we are playing music Friday night with another couple at the Oasis. (Gee, that's an original name). What a hoot. I really look forward to it.

Music and re-learning the guitar are one of the highlights of retirement in Panama.

I got another invitation to play in a band yesterday. I told the guy I wasn't very good. He said, "Well, the only other guitarist is leaving, so you are it." I haven't figured out how I'm going to take that yet.

It is nice to be in demand. Remember, the bar is pretty darn low down here.

I just hope he doesn't have an EXPECTATION. You know where that leads.

4th of July in Panama

I hope the rage stops soon.

This morning, we were going to a breakfast brunch party to start celebrating the 4th. On our way out of the door, I got a call saying my mechanic could work on the car in an hour. I have been waiting for this opportunity and didn't want to miss it...

But cripes!

Now I had to jump threw hoops. We found Yella a ride to the party and I took off to see the mechanic. When I got there, he said he only had a hour to work on the car so I had to leave it for a couple of days. That was not the plan nor the conversation I just had with him.

No!!! Why does everything look good, then turn to shit and in the end NOTHING GETS DONE!

I am tired of it. For the first time I wanted to leave. Toss in the towel. Hit the road. Blow this pop stand. I am tired of trying to get the car fixed. Because that's all it is...trying...with no resolution.

In a serious funk, I head out to catch up with Yella at the party. Upon arriving, I notice that people are staying away from me. Gee, I wonder why? Could it be the homicidal look on my face.

After a while, I loosen up and start to enjoy myself. Met a lot of good people and, in the end, had fun.

In the afternoon, Yella went to a rehearsal for tonight's music at another 4th party. So I am alone for the afternoon.

It really hit me. The loss of old friends and things familiar as well as celebrating a major US holiday in a foreign land.

I got lonely.

Luckily, Yella returned and we attended the party. It was fun. Good jazz with Yella signing a few songs, visiting with friends and an impressive fireworks display for a small community.

Not the same as the 4th in Colorado Springs. This year, I heard the city cancelled the party. Another casualty of the poor economy. I was better off in many ways here.

Today was a roller coaster ride of emotion in Panama.

A Rage Hangover & the Power of Duct Tape

I didn't know you could get a hangover from rage, but you can.

I spent the last 2 days in a blisteringly hot red rage.  

Yesterday, Yella tried to start the car and it was dead.  This only happens when you have something you want or need to do.  I started throwing things at this point.

First off, we canceled a few things but we had an appointment with our builder at 11 am and I was not going to miss it NO MATTER WHAT!!!  The bastard has eluded us for 3 weeks.  Now we were going to get our chance to chew off a pound of his flesh.

This is other wise know as "The Great Panamanian Avoidance Dance."

Man, can they dance!

Second, a friend brings tools (my are all packed away in storage, don't get me started on why we are not out of storage yet) and a charger.  But the battery won't take a charge, so we decide to clean the battery contacts, which have stalactites growing out of them.

But, as is written in the Celestial Laws of Mechanics, the contacts fall apart and we have to GO GET A PART.

I know some of you fully understand this but most of us non-mechanically inclined are surprised when this happens.

But, we can't get the part because we have to meet our builder.  As a side bar, the meeting goes well.  I should say, it went well for us but not so good for him.  You see, Yella went after him.  Poor sucker!  But he deserves it.  The man's not going to have any ass left if he keeps this up.

Then, a friend picks up the parts, we get a ride back up to our house and start once again on the repairs.  I am so glad he was a mechanic.  There was much jury rigging to do.

But in the end, late in the afternoon, we finish and the car works...so we think.

But also as written in the Celestial Laws of Mechanics, there is a big problem when we drive off, after our mechanic has left, of course.

So back down a long, rocky road to our friends house to fix the problem and, whala, the car works again.

Hurray!

I have been pissed all day and I am wrung out, for sure!

This morning we head to David for a medical tests and a doctor's appointment.

But, you guessed it, the damn car brakes down again.

I need to re-read the Celestial Laws of Mechanics.  

We get the duct tape, that's right, duct tape and patch things up so we can proceed to David.  I have never really believed that repairs were possible with the stuff, but they are...for a while anyway.

I should have known things would get worse in David.

The doctor's office informs me that I have no appointment.  They check and sure enough I do have one, but it doesn't matter because the doctor will not be in until 2.5 hours later.  So we take off and eat and things, returning at 1:30 pm as requested.  But I must say, my temper was now out of control.  Everything PISSED ME OFF!!!! Ya@#$h$%&@!!!

At 2:30 pm no doctor.  I ask when.  They call him and he says a half hour or more.

Well, that is the kiss of death in Panama.  No specific time.  Loosely translated, WHO KNOWS! Hell, they're an hour late when they give you a time.

So I leave and go back to Boquet because I am now homicidal.   

You would have enjoyed watching us drive down the hi way, in pouring rain, without windshield wipers or lights, windows open, of course.  You see, duct tape only goes so far, especially in rain.

Got to love the adventure, huh.

When we get home, the car gets fixed.  Most likely this time for good.  Stop laughing.  It's not polite.

I am very hung over from all the rage.

And, hoping for a better 4th of July.  Happy Independence Day to you!  You deserve it after reading this blog.