Got TV!

We slid out of town to David to shop for a flat screen TV. Armed with a little Internet research on the subject, we visited 3 stores, fully expecting PriceMart to be the winner.

We found a good, highly rated TV at Rodelag. I don't know the story of this store but they won't accept credit cards and they had a good selection of TV's with good prices.

We stopped by The Do It Center (Every time I say this stupid name I want to puke!) and purchased a TV table also.

On to the house and the inevitable "put shit together" time.

I took it on and, as if by magic, all the parts where packed and all went together perfect!

Now for the litmus test, turning on the TV and playing a DVD (We don't have any TV service like satellite).

Didn't work...uh oh...

Not to worry. With a little fiddling the DVD appeared!

Now for the trying stuff.

Our new Internet service isn't going to cut it. The Internet phone quality is poor. And we can't get US TV on the Internet. I mentioned this in a previous blog.

We will have to get our old service, Baranco, that we used in the rental unit.

But, nothing is simple in Panama. We found out today that the main guy is leaving Baranco and their status is up in the air.

GRRRR!!!!

Just when you think you have it figured out, you don't.

Man, am I tired of being frustrated.

Life is still going up and down with Yella and I. Yesterday was a bad day. I will have to wait until today is over to report on today. It is that tenuous.

I didn't sign on for this roller coaster ride, I'll tell you that. I don't think we can take much more of it.

How to Shut a Town Down

As I'm sitting in Olga's eating breakfast, I notice a steady stream of traffic flowing by. Olga's is on a side street so this makes no sense.

After breakfast, I head up to the town square, negotiating a detour which caused the traffic by Olga's, only to get stopped by a worker because a children's event is taking place off the square.

They will shut down anything, for any reason, here. They love it. I think free flowing, ease of getting around, pisses them off so they arbitrarily shut something down just for the hell of it.

I go several slow, backed up blocks around the village and get to Romero's, the grocery store. I go to the produce department and pick up 9 bananas. Normally, a clerk weighs them at the produce area but I am waive to the checkout counter where they will be weighed.

Uh oh....this isn't good. Change...never a good idea in the Land of You Don't Get What You Want.

Needless to say, the checkout lines are backed up.

First, I wait on a lady who is filling out a check.

I should've had someone shoot me.

She wanders to the end of counter. Fiddles around. Wonders back. Asks for a pen. Rummages around in her purse eventually pulling out a check book. She m-e-t-i-c-u-l-o-u-s-l-y fills out a check. Wanders around for a while. Finally, hands the check to the cashier.

Now the actual delay starts. A manager has to be found. He is busy because the checkers don't know how to weigh the produce and he is helping them. Eventually he gets to the check.

Back to the checker. Now what? The lady is questioning the receipt. And on and on it goes.

Literally a full 5 minutes have passed dealing with this woman's check.

Grrr!

Now I hand my 9 bananas to the clerk.

Uh oh...she doesn't know how to weight them.

After about 5 minutes of trying, she enters one banana at a time at $.03 each. Nine entries of $.03 for each of the 9 bananas.

Boy, was it a bad idea to go to town today.

I then head over to HSBC bank. This bank is so bad there is an exodus of customers leaving the bank over the last 3 months.

I needed to get a copy of account activity for 2008 and 2009. This will demonstrate why HSBC is hated.

They bought Banistmo, the bank we originally used before it was converted to HSBC on May 1, 2009.

She got the statement for 2008 and 2009 up until April 30, 2009 when it was Banistmo. No problem! A few strokes at the computer and it was done. Lickity split. Pronto. Boom!

But not for HSBC.

She has to request the statement from Panama City. If the request is honored, I will have the statement in a couple of days...translate...a few weeks.

And that is the way it is with HSBC. They are absolutely terrible. Any other bank can get the most recent information with ease but not HSBC. They can't get ANY information with ease.

I was happy to get what I got...in the Land of You Don't Get What You Want.

A Little Better Today

Things are a little better. Not quite so tense...I hesitate to say anything...it could all come crashing down at any moment.

We had Agua de Chiriqui out twice to tune up our water system. There is more to these pressure/pump systems than I thought.

They installed a new pressure switch, adjusted the air pressure in the tank bladder and re-wired some of the original wiring. It is running great now.

The cost...$47. They were here over 3 hours, replaced a charcoal filter and switch.

It just doesn't get any better than that!

I went into Boquete this afternoon for a few groceries. I saw a friend at the meat counter. He purchased a whole beef tenderloin. Cost...$11.

A few comments about the beef here.

The beef is grass fed so it is very, very lean. Most Americans don't like it. Also, the beef is not aged so it is tough by our standards or anyones to think of it.

The only cut most American eat is the tenderloin or filets from the tenderloin. Or the ground beef which is pretty good. It certainly is healthier than most of the beef in the US.

My friend's house was built by our builder. His was finished in 9 months. His was the first house of the 4 gringo houses that Toto started almost 2 years ago.

I asked how this could be. He built a little shade shed that he sat under EVERY DAY during construction. Anything and I mean anything that wasn't going perfect, he called into the builder and demanded action.

And he got it. But, he was on-site full time for 9 months. I guess that is one way to do it. My questions is, who was the builder then?

In the 4 gringo houses, ours is the next best situation. I hesitate to say anything positive about our experience but, believe it or not, we are in much better shape than the next 2 houses. At least ours is finished and we are living in it.

The next 2 houses are in sad shape. On one house, the builder pulled off completely, owing the owners over $25K. The other house is not finished after 20 months and the owners are trying to finish it from the US. It is also going badly, but at least the builder doesn't have much of their money.

So, 2 out of 4 house got finished, sort of...

The learning curve is high and steep here.

Now a few notes on the Internet.

On our new Internet provider's service, we can't get US TV like we did on the last Internet service.

Why? You might ask.

The new service has a Panama ISP address and the old service has a US ISP address. Now, this is a distinction no one would think to figure out in advance. It is near impossible to get a US ISP in Panama...only gringos would figure this out.

That is how tricky anything--absolutely anything--is here. The hidden, concealed nuances are mind boggling! And they make a huge difference.

Our router required for the Internet phone doesn't work on this service unless you hire some other technician from God knows where to fix it. They don't even answer their phones so this should be interesting.

I won't even go into the struggle with the refrigerator. But it continues.

I did order the parts to fix and hook up the dishwasher today. I should have them in a coupe of weeks. Then we can try to hook it up only to find out that the parts don't work.

That's probably coming.

In spite of this, it was a good day.

How you say?

Well, the sun was shining this morning with 70 degree temperatures as a snow storm was moving into Colorado. And it is drop dead beautiful today. My friend was feeding a Toucan on his deck. A Toucan!!! How cool is that!

Now that you don't see that in the US!

What about Yella?

She is working her ass off. Setting up the house is Yella's busy time. She went to David this morning. Then set up all the stuff she purchased.

What was I doing while she slaved away? Well, I was on my hands and knees cleaning the floor this afternoon, so back off you gender sensitive jerks.

The Big Day and No Fun

I haven't written in 3 days because I didn't want to...things have been so bad that writing about it just didn't hit the spot.

Like always, it has been up and down with the downs severely down.

Starting Friday morning, it was looking up. My builder actually met the right people and resolved our water service issue that was going to extort $200 dollars from us. Hurray!

Then, another tenant in our rental complex got back a day early, so we could finish housesitting and move Yella into the house permanently on Friday.

It should have been a great day...we have been waiting for this for 10 months.

But it was really a downer.

There are so many things wrong with the house that it has finally built up and hit the boiling point.

Yella is upset with the kitchen counter tile, which is a mess. The grout lines aren't straight and the goofy builder used cement instead of grout so it looks ugly. This broke the dam loose and sent the resentment and anger flowing. I know this has been visible for a while but the reality of it sunk in Friday.

The lack of beauty and freshness of a new house along with all the other problems is so disturbing to Yella that the pleasure of moving into the new house was ruined. I can see why.

But it doesn't stop there.

The dishwasher backed up and we discovered that the drain hose was plugged, causing pin hole leaks in the pipe. When I tried to disconnect the drain line, it fell apart.

So no dishwasher now. I will have to order parts from the US to fix it. That will take a few weeks. We now have a very expensive dish rack

But that's not all.

We tried to set up the Internet phone. This required a call to the Panama service provider.

What a cluster F@#$#@!

He spoke limited English and the phone connection was distorted. I had to ask him to repeat everything 3 and 4 times. We were at it for over 2 hours. 2 hours of listening with all my concentration, struggling to hear...that will give you a headache.

And, we didn't get it to work properly.

How discouraging. Again.

So we are in our new house with a refrigerator that stops working when the power goes out, a kitchen counter that looks like hell, a dishwasher that can't be used and an Internet phone that doesn't work, a bucket under the kitchen sink to catch the leaking flow of water, and much more.

The stress put Yella and I into a huge fight. We stayed there for 2 days and finally broke out of it last night.

But it is tenuous...very tenuous...with any little thing sending us over the edge.

I thought it would get better once we were in our house. Not so. It is worse. For how long, I don't know. Things are breaking faster than we can fix or repair them. Is it going to always be this way here?

I hope not. I can't take it. I don't think our marriage will endure it either.

This has been a very bad 2 days...probably more coming in the future.

Meeting the Muckity Mucks

We were invited to lunch at a friends house. He likes to hobnob with the big wigs.

It was inconvenient because Yella has only limited time to set up the house before her trip back the the US. Every minute is precious.

We went anyway. As it turned out, it was not only fun but informative.

Three of the movers and shakers were present with only 8 attending so we got to spend time with them on an intimate level.

All 3 were instrumental in establishing coffee as an agricultural industry in Panama back about 70 years. All 3 own major coffee fincas and two own the finca that produces the most expensive coffee in the world at $130 lb.

Most people don't know that Panama consistently produces 1 or 2 of the top 5 coffees in the world each year. I was getting the 4th best coffee shipped to Colorado for $10 a pound. No that's a good deal!

The perspective of these people was very informative. They are gringos, strangely enough all from Swedish parents, who settled in Boquete 70 years ago. They are responsible for Boquete being a significant community. It was just a small village at the end of a railway line before their influence.

A couple of tid bits...

There was NO crime when Panama was a dictatorship. Crime has developed in the last 20 years in democracy. Dictators shoot criminals without question. Probably got a few innocents too.

For several years, Kona coffee was actually Panama coffee which was substituted for the Kona because it was cheaper. And, it was as good or better than the Kona.

Police majors, who run the district offices, consider Boquete a vacation job. The other regions, like Colon or Bocas del Toro, have much higher crime rates and more violent crimes.

The Geisha coffee plant, consider the best in the world, was developed here. This type of coffee plant is now being used in many different countries.

Tea is now being grown in Chirqui at high elevations. Tea likes higher elevations than coffee.

It was a privilege to meet these people. By the way, they were down to earth and gracious.

Settling In

So this is the rainy season.

Two mornings starting with rain. Well, it never stopped raining for a couple of days. Gray, foggy, cool mornings.

I don't mind...yet. I know it gets old because everyone tells me.

With Yella sleeping at the rental house and me at the new house, life is chopped up but I am getting a taste of the way it may be.

I get up and piddle around until 7:30 or 8. The Internet has become the major communication tool. I use it to get the news, keep up with friends, talk on the telephone, learn guitar and enjoy video clips among other things.

Life in paradise without the Internet would be a different animal.

I drive on rainy days and ride my bicycle on better days to breakfast at Olga's. Then I either go to the gym or ride home. All this take until 10:30 or 11.

A good way to enjoy the morning.

Now things get a little weird because Yella may not be at the house because she is David or packing at the rental house.

Today I saw Yella for about 30 minutes only.

The rest of the day is spent talking on the phone, reading, napping, cooking and eating. Not bad.

I can see a pattern developing.

I do like a little more active day but I am sure that will come with both of us living in the same house. This sure is a relief from the hectic, frustrating days in the passed 10 months.

Sharing one car is restrictive. I don't like COORDINATION. That is a fancy word for endlessly working out minutia with someone else.

Example: what are you doing today? What does that really mean? Are you sure that is what you will do? You didn't tell me you were going to do that. Now that screws everything up.

And so on.

With the advent of better weather and living in the same house, much of this will clear up.

I did enjoy the day. I kind of like this laid back stuff.

For now...

Odds & Ends

I woke up this morning to my first "gloomy" morning...socked in, foggy but beautiful, peaceful and so calm.

The rainy season is upon us with a vengeance. It rained on Sunday for hours but 2 hours were an all out torrential, tropical downpour. Water was running a foot deep on my gravel road. You can imagine what that did to gravel...it's all at the bottom of the hill.

For me, life is returning to normal. Whatever that is in retirement and the tropics! Most of my construction activity is over, well at least minimized.

Yella is now in the barrel! She is under the gun to set up a household before she leaves on November 5th. It is intense!

And the signs of wear and tear are apparent.

I fell her pain.

On a different subject...

We attended Rafael's son's funeral. The service was in the Lions Hall. Only about 30 people could get in so 2 (maybe 3) hundred of us stood outside for an hour waiting for the funeral march to the cemetery.

We all walked behind the hearse for about 12 blocks to the cemetery where, of course, we had to wait for somebody to move their car so we could proceed.

Only in Panama do the dead wait too!

Another crypt side service was held. Most bodies are in crypts rather than in the ground.

It was an emotional service. The 6 sailor, pall bearers (they looked like babies) were sobbing at the loss of their buddy. I think everyone was in tears.

They mixed up mortar right their on the spot and sealed the crypt. I thought that was a little unusual.

We were the only gringos. Rafael walked back through the crowd to thank Yella and I for coming. I believe it meant a lot to him that we attended.

Yesterday he called to say he was not going to work for a couple of days and he told me again how much it meant to him and that he loved us.

I was touched.

And on a different subject...

Many things are obtained on "the black market" here. What I mean is that you have to go through a friend of a friend to get it.

I need guitar strings. The ones they sell in the stores are terrible. So I found a guy that has some strings. I hope to meet him this morning for "the exchange." I will have to buy him breakfast to seal the deal.

So on to the day and life in paradise...

Saturday Night Fever

Saturday night is BUSY!!!

Yella and I had a relaxing day at the house. No work. Listening to music, reading and napping.

We decided to eat out at The Oasis, a gourmet restaurant in Boquete. This is an upscale place with a delightful waiter, Calixto. I have mentioned him in the past. Yella had a Pork Chop and I had Corvina. Delicious and $20 including a healthy tip.

As I was leaving, I crossed the Feria bridge back into town. (Actually, this is the only bridge since the December flood washed out the other one) The pavilion at the bridge was blasting music. I could hear it 6 to 8 blocks away, in other words, all over town. Must be a dance tonight! Fiesta!!!

I stopped in at Romeros, the major grocery store. What a mistake.

It was packed. I had no idea that the indians shop for the week on Saturday night at 7:30 pm. The lines at the check out were long, with baskets filled to the brim. I waded into the vegetable counter...no lettuce.

Good, I scooted out of there fast. I didn't want to wait in those lines.

Next, I drove a block to the Bomberos where the city parks a garbage truck for everyones use on Sunday. It was already there. I dropped off some garbage. While I was parked, couples were walking by.

The streets were full of couples of all ages. I guess heading for the dance.

As I drove out of town, a long, steady stream of lights were coming at me. People coming into town. Must be a big dance and fiesta.

On the way to our house, well outside of town, is a basketball court. They recently built a roof over the court so they can play in all weather. This is typical here. Court, roof and no walls.

There were cars parked for a couple of blocks, a grill smoking, aromas in the air and people partying. I guess basket ball isn't the only use of the court.

Fiesta ever where tonight. I have no idea what the occasion is.

Maybe just Saturday night.

Me & My Bicycle

I have a love/hate relationship with my bicycle.

I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

It is the highly sought after, old guy, low impact exercise, which I desperately need because my feet hurt from too much hiking and running. I am a subscriber to "if it's worth doing, it is worth overdoing."

I purchased the said bicycle 3 years ago. I tried to ride it but, alas, it was uncomfortable.

This particular bicycle was specially designed to insert the seat up my ass.

I didn't care for it.

I talked to everyone and got the dreaded litany of advise. I bought a new seat for an exorbitant some of money. It helped a teeny weeny bit. But, the problem was not solved.

I found those adult diapers called bicycle shorts. The ones where you walk around thinking you have a load in your pants. Lovely!

That helped a smidge.

Plus, the shorts chafed my legs and they were hotter than hell. So I bought the long leg underwear. That helped a little, tiny bit.

What the hell else am I going to have to do to have a little fun riding the thing?

And what's with that silly looking helmut. Football helmuts look good. Why not take a clue from them?

So you get the picture. Things were not going well in the riding a bicycle department.

Now on to Panama.

I don't know what happened but the seat has miraculously removed itself from my ass.

And, I'm not wearing the adult diaper either.

This morning was beautiful. I rode to Olga's for breakfast, a free Spanish lesson and friends. Then, on to the gym for a strength workout. And home.

All in all, a great workout that left me depleted in a good way.

I laid on the bed listening to the creek and birds...relaxed...enjoying the day.

What will they think of next? I kind of like this relaxation stuff.

Washer & Drier Today!

You're thinking, what's the big deal, anyway?

Well, this is a big deal because I hooked them up.

So what, you say. Anyone can do that.

Maybe in Los Estados Unidos de America but not here.

First, I am not a handy guy. Rafael is in Panama City dealing with the death of his son, so I am left to the hook ups.

I get real relaxed. Very, very relaxed and assess the situation. I tend to move too fast and screw everything up. I measure, think, count, re-measure, quit thinking, start again, get more relaxed, and after much study, I am ready to go get the parts.

Now this seems like a simple task but I speak little Spanish and they speak no English. All the items are behind the counter and have to be requested.

Uh oh!

Plus, I don't know the sizes. Some pipe go by inside diameter, some by outside. I need 2 different size gas hose hook ups (the tapered kind), plus a 2" (maybe) elbow to plastic pipe thing, plus a water spigot and more.

This is fertile problem land.

With much drawing of pictures, help from gringos who speak more Spanish than I, and a very patient staff, I get all the stuff.

But will it fit?

Most of you that do projects know that a half dozen trips to the hardware store are typical. It is a rough ride back to the store for me. I don't want to do too many of them.

Miraculously, it all fits! On the first try! No more trips needed.

It's a miracle!

And, the machines work! How did that happen in the Land of Nothing Works.

We ran a huge load of laundry, then dried it.

It works! All right!

Now you are sure I am certifiable. Down here, this is big stuff. After all, when we got electricity, it was like discovering fire, we were so happy.

Ah... Feels good to get something done.

I included a couple of pictures. One is a view up our property from the low point and one is a large bug. Thought you might enjoy them.

A Heart Breaking Evening

Rafael's 18 year old son died today swimming off a beach by Panama City. He was a strong swimmer and a sailor in the Panama navy. His body has not been found.

Youth and skill did not save this boy from the sea.

Our hearts go out to Rafael and his family. Tragedy seems to find the best people. We can not imagine a better man than Rafael who has helped us finish our house. He is kind, gentle and supportive. His loss is unimaginable.

We were grateful that he came to us for support. It is the least we can do. He has been so good to us.

This country takes a terrible toll on youth.

A few months ago, the 20 year old son of Ana, a sunny, round woman who cooks for Olga's restaurant, was killed in a motorcycle/car accident one evening.

He did not survive high levels of testosterone and the traffic which goes beyond dangerous to treacherous.

She was another kind, sweet person who should never have to face this kind of tragedy.

The threat to people caused by lack of money for safety and protection finds the youth much to often.

This just shouldn't be.

A sad, heartbreaking night in Boquete.

There is No Free Lunch

Everything is cheaper in Panama in terms of money.

But, oh man, do you pay in terms of frustration, unfulfilled expectations and things that don't work.

I told you about our refrigerator that wouldn't turn back on after the power goes off. This happens a lot, so it is important.

Well, now, like magic, it works.

But for how long? Do we put food in it and risk losing the food when it malfunctions again? Do we resort to voodoo dolls and pins? Do we pray to the refrigerator god? What???

Our water system includes a pump and pressure vessel. This, of course, is the result of our errant builder who swore we had "good pressure" and didn't need a pump.

The pump pressure cycles between 30 and 50 psi. The 30 psi is too low to fire the hot water heater, so you get hot/cold/hot/cold in the shower.

No good!

I stopped by Agua de Chiriqui, the pump supplier, and they ran out to my house immediately. This is one of the good things here. Sometimes people will drop everything and help you.

The bad news is that they sold us the wrong pressure switch so it doesn't work properly.

How were we to know? It took the experts to figure it out. I am thankful that they did figure it out and will correct it. Only another week of cold showers.

But, things work, then don't, then work, then don't.

Our toilets would not flush last night because the sewer was plugged up.

Now how and the hell did that happen? We have only slightly used them for a week. After all, no one is living here full time.

I got up this morning and the sewer was working.

Shit!

Is everything intermittent here?

I better get used to it because that's the way it is. People have told us about this but it is hard to believe from an America perspective. After all, everything works in the US all the time.

Ok, Ok...I know that things sometimes don't work in the US but MOST OF THE TIME they work.

There is no free lunch. You have to pay somehow. I just didn't anticipate it.

One more thing...

The president of the private water company stopped by and said that we are not "on his customer rolls" so the person that took our money and signed us up probably the pocketed the money.

It doesn't matter that I have a signed and dated contract, if I can't produce a receipt for the $200 fee, we will have to pay again.

GRRRR!!!!!

You just can't see it coming...but it just keeps on coming.

Never a dull moment.

On the other hand, I rode my bicycle yesterday morning into Boquete for breakfast. It was a perfect morning...sunny, calm, warm...full of bird songs ala glorious!

Then, I rode to the gym, worked out, rode back home. What a magnificent 2 1/2 hr ride!

That's what makes all this insanity worth it.

Evidence of Tom's Playing Music

I haven't given you any pictures of me playing music because I didn't have any. And you thought I was pulling your leg.

If you look close, the guy in back, standing with the guitar...that's me. I look kind of professional, don't you think?

This picture is from the nightclub show we did at the beginning of August. I bumped into the photographer at one of the many parties last week.

I got to get back to practicing my guitar. Chow!

This Too Shall Pass

The rage of yesterday abated somewhere around noon today.

I'll tell you, that stuff is a real bitch! I don't want anymore of it.

I FINALLY got my bicycle out this morning and road into town. I've been waiting over 2 weeks to ride.

I had no idea it would be that hard. I didn't see all the hills driving around in a car. 80 minutes of stellar workout. Over the cobble roads and around the potholes. To Olga's for breakfast. I was greeted with warmth as always.

We went to our first party at 12:30 for lunch. Caesar and Antonietta (pronounced: ahn-tone-YE-tah) had us over for the first time. Caesar is the drummer and band leader of the jazz group that Yella sits in with. Antonietta is from El Salvador. They met in Belize 25 years ago, then moved to Panama.

It was fun. Especially getting a perspective about life from outside the US. He is from South Africa and Belize and you know where she is from. We are sooooo sheltered by living in the US. Our perspective of ourselves is very high, don't you think? Not theirs. Most people outside the US view us as spoiled, bloated, self-indulgent people. After living here for a few months, I agree.

We then moved on to a Canadian Thanksgiving party with turkey and the full trimmings. The hostess is a phenomenal cook! What a feast. And, a little taste of home.

I asked several people if their gutters overflowed in downpours and the majority said yes. I asked what they do about it...nothing...let it overflow and move on.

I had a conversation with a guy who has built a resort with a 1 kilometer road that is as steep as ours. He said they are on their 4th attempt to tame the water and may not be finished yet.

So, this drainage problem will be an iterative solution. That made me feel a little better about the mess.

We got home after 7 pm and I headed out to babysit our new house where I sit and write this blog.

A good Sunday...a much better day than Saturday.

Good grief, I don't think I've done anything this hard...or this rewarding. Funny how that works out.

I Just Can't Seem to Pull It Together

Bitching Warning: The following is graphic complaining and whining which maybe detrimental to your sanity. Continue at your own risk.

It happened again...

Rage!

I have had more episodes of rage in the last 9 months than in my entire life.

No kidding.

I was doing pretty good until after lunch. See the previous blog for details.

Then Yella suggested we go to David to shop for furniture because we were so close. I should have said no but I didn't.

I really should have said no.

I don't do well with little details.

We started looking for a few things.

The conversation goes like this: would you like this or that, that or this, how about this, no maybe that, a little wider, no, a little bigger and on and on and on and on and on and on...

I can't handle it. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I simply can't handle it.

We get to the new house and a new version of "this or that" starts up. Noooooooooo!!!!

Then we are finally going to leave and "just one more thing" fires up...and just one more thing...and just one more thing...

Can't we leave now!

It is like being in hell. Stuck in an elevator, with lousy elevator music playing, being asked the same question over and over, doing the same just one more thing again and again and again...

You get the picture.

I know this is what it takes to furnish and decorate a house. BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!!!

Can't I get a pass on this one. I will give anything. PLEASE!!!

Then all the drainage improvements that we had been working on for the last 2 weeks (and $1500) couldn't handle the downpour today. All that work and planning down the drain, or I should say, not down the drain.

I lost it.

What I try to accomplish doesn't work.

What makes matters worse is that my non-accomplishments leave me with no time to do what I want. Simple things like get some exercise for God's sake.

And, we are in "living in 2 house hell" that boils life down to constant running back and forth. The round trip time is 60 minutes. You sure as hell don't want to do that too many times a day!

Someone shoot me now!!!

God, I'm pissed.

And disgusted with myself because I fall down this rat hole again and again and again...

F@#$%!!!!

(How's that for some self pity?)

Passion Transforms Everyone

This is Noriega's summer home in Potrorillos, just down the road from us.

We were invited to tour the gardens around the house and have lunch with the owners. He is a master gardener as you can probably guess.

These are 2 unusual people to say the least. Odd would be a kind way of putting it.

When I met him, he was stiff, reserved and aloof. Not a pretty picture. So when Yella said we were invited to see the gardens, I was less than trilled.

Nurturing a growing resentment, we left on Saturday morning for their home. I bitched pretty much the whole way. The road is crappy and long. It takes about an hour to get there. All for what?

Like the title says, passion alters personality.

He has a PASSION for his gardens. And he turned into a delightful, interesting guy. At one point he gushed, "this is my favorite plant and I love it." Then he gave the plant a hug.

He looked about 3 years old, with the energy and joy of a child. What happened to the stiff, old man?

Gone! Passion erased it.

This was one beautiful place. He has over 500 different plants in his gardens. Amazing.

Lunch was good. The company was enjoyable. And, he has offered to help Yella with her gardens.

There are some quirky but heartfelt people down here.

A Stupid Horse & Monkeys

What a day!

I started at 7 am and went until 6:30 pm non stop. And, I got a lot done but it still took it's toll.

I handled 10 phone calls to Panamanians who either didn't speak any English or had limited English. The most difficult situation with language is on the phone. Hell, it's hard enough in English in the US.

I went through 4 calls to the Internet provider. Even though its was excruciating painful, we were successful and the Internet is now up and working at the new house.

Hurray!

This is the first blog written from our new house. After working hard for it, it is satisfying.

I then went through a baffling series of calls with the appliance store and their tech. Believe me, I am grateful for any English that was spoken. But it is stressful. Straining to hear even the smallest clue to what is being said. I am shocked that we got anything done at all.

But it has a way of working out.

The tech finished fixing the refrig at 6 pm. He said it wasn't a warranty fix. I owed him $20. I couldn't dig fast and deep enough to pay him. What a relief. I thought we would need a new compressor.

Do you know that refrig's have computers in them now? For crying out loud! A refrigerator! How complex can it be?

Now for the stupid horse.

As Rafael and I were driving down our one track road, a horse was completely blocking it. I honked. Nothing. We yelled. Nothing. So I nudged him with the bumper. Believe it or not, nothing.

Now we were baffled. So we pushed him out of the way. No, we didn't hurt him. I was gentle.

On the way back, he was still there. I tried to drive around him but he got nosey and wacked on the nose with the side view mirror.

We laughed for quite a while about the horse. We still have no idea if the horse is blind and deaf or just stubborn. Or maybe he thinks it's his road.

Here is some thrilling stuff to us.

As the refrigerator tech and I were standing on the porch, we saw a monkey!

We have not seen any monkeys and people have reported that the monkeys are gone from the area...too many people now. Maybe they are back or maybe they never left.

There is something exotic about monkeys. Don't you think?

One thing After Another

It is relentless.

We get electricity Saturday, then the brand new refrigerator quits working on Monday.

And, it may be our fault. We didn't put a low voltage regulator and surge protector on the plug. Refrigerators are sensitive to voltage fluctuations so we may have destroyed it.

We were so excited to get electricity that we completely spaced out the voltage protection issue.

Electricity in Panama is known for its variations. In my earlier blogs, I talked about "brown outs" which we would call black outs in the US.

Plus, lightning is ever present in copious quantities.

Panama giveth and Panama taketh away!

If that's not enough, we take our car in AGAIN to have the clutch fixed. I don't know how many times we will have to do this. And, the power steering pump is leaking oil, forcing us to refill the reservoir weekly.

So I am supposed to meet the mechanic at 8 and that means 8:30. He says he will have it this morning. Ya, right.

I stop by at lunch and he's gone. His partner says he hasn't even gotten the part yet. I stop by after lunch and he still is nowhere to be found.

I call at 3 pm and he tells me he doesn't have the money for the part so could we stop by and give him some money.

Well, F##$@#@!!!

As it turns out, it is a language problem. He has fixed the clutch but he discovered another issue and he doesn't have the money for that. It is not critical so we will buy the part on our next trip to David.

Man, can a day like this beat me up!

Another Thespian Home Run

Eleemosynary

This is the quirky name of the most recent play directed by Jim. He also directed The Vagina Monologues which was one of the best plays I have personally attended. He has the unique ability to pull greatness out of his actors.

I was expecting greatness once again.

I knew that the rehearsals were gruesome. All the actors, the producer, director and stage crew are our friends so we had first hand knowledge.

This play has 3 generations of women: grandma, mother and teenage daughter played by age appropriate women.

The grandma, a wonderful actor in her 70's, was struggling with the memorization of all the lines. I don't think about this much, but our ability to memorize and possibly learn diminishes with age. I hope it does not discourage her from future rolls because she is amazing.

The teenage had no problem with memorizing the lines. She did struggle with the acting as a first time actor. She had to learn the basics such as "stand still."

The mom, a good friend of ours, was struggling with the character who was angry and pissy, something she is definitely not. She is a lot of fun and likes to laugh.

So the rehearsals were grueling.

To top it all off, the play was held at the Fundadores Hotel, one of the oldest hotels. The play ran over 4 days. The hotel booked the room for other parties and meetings so the ENTIRE set had to be taken down and rebuilt for each performance. What a job!

Then to add insult to injury, a meeting on Sunday morning ran late and the matinee had to start 2 hours late. Only in Panama!

We went on Saturday night. It was sold out.

The play was memorizing, engaging and thought provoking. It was extremely well acted with 2 out of 3 parts played to perfection. The other part was really good.

In a town of 1000 Expats, who would have thought we could get this level of highly professional entertainment.

Maybe there is an unusual amount of talent here because you have to be half crazy to move to a 3rd World country. Or, maybe we are simply lucky.

Either way, I am grateful. I also now have some appreciation for the considerable work required to put on a play.

Tom's Getting Old...Really, Really Old

I needed to borrow a truck to go to David to pick up our sofa and dining room set, which we purchased on Thursday.

Keith said he would loan us his. What a great guy!

I called Friday evening to arrange picking up the truck on Saturday morning. He said he was getting the wheels balanced at 8 am in the morning, then we could have it.

Uh oh!

I know Panama. This would result in some kind of delay and sure enough it did.

We showed up at 9 am to pick up the truck but it wasn't finished.

Why? They broke a couple of the lug nut studs removing the wheels. No problem. Down the road they go to get the parts, returning in about 20 minutes.

But...they were the wrong parts. You knew that would happen, didn't you.

So back down the road. All in all, we left at 10:15. Not a problem except this is the rainy season and we didn't want to haul furniture in a tropical down pour.

In David, after passing through a coupe of rain showers, we load the Toyota pickup truck high and I mean high. We get it all in one load.

Down the road we go after stopping at The Do It Center for more rope to lash down the load.

As we are getting close to Boquete, we get a call from Rafael, our master-all-around worker helping us finish the house. He said our neighbor called him and the police were at our house and the front door was wide open.

Oh F@#$%@#$!!!! Not another break in!

We speed, well not speed but hurry as much as possible with an overloaded truck on terrible roads, to our house.

After getting to the house, we look in and NOTHING was gone. No damage. No theft. What??

You guessed. Tom, the old addled guy that he is, forgot to lock up the house and left it wide open.

Shit! Did I feel bad!

I better start taking massive amounts of Ginkgo Biloba 6 times a day. I better enroll in memory school for the aged. I better start tying string around all my extremities. I better....I better...

Start locking the damn door!

Electricity and a theft scare. What a day!

I sure hope life slows down a little now.

Electricidad, Electricidad, Electicidad!!!

I guess Hell can freeze over.

Today, at 1:30 pm, we turned on our lights for the first time.

Then, we ran around and fired up the burners on the stove, got hot water from the faucets and checked out the frig.

All working just fine, don't you know!

This milestone feels like the BIG ONE. Getting the Occupancy Permit was big, paying off the builder was good but turning on the lights felt magical.

We started this process in January. With house 95% complete, I started to badger the builder to get the inspections necessary to apply for power because I knew it would take 6 months after the inspections.

At the end of March, he started to get inspections, failing them, doing the re-work, experiencing delays because the inspector or engineer or driver was sick, off or generally not available.

We finally got the Occupancy Permit at the end of July. Can you imagine, the end of July. That's over 4 months to get the inspection done.

Then we went to battle with Union Fenosa, the electric utility. They lied, misdirected, ran us around, all to avoid doing the work.

We found an angel in Union Fenosa that went to battle for us. And, for the most part, she accelerated the process resulting in electricity in about 2 and half months. Down here, that is blisteringly fast.

Wow!

It is still hard to comprehend. This was a long battle.

Tonight, I go home to a lighted porch, with flood lights on the front and back of the house, and a light burning on the inside.

Wow! I am at a loss for words. Finally, you say? Ya!

Here Comes the Rain

October is the rainiest month. That's in a land of rain.

And, true to form, it rained today.

We debarked for the thriving metropolis of David first thing. Off to buy furniture for the house. The big ones...sofa, dining room table, etc.

As luck would have it, we found what we wanted right off the bat. But, we couldn't believe our good fortune, so we kept shopping in a futile attempt to find something better and cheaper.

I don't know what it is about shopping, but I am completely exhausted after 30 minutes of walking around a store looking and looking and looking at shit. I can run for miles, hike for hours, but shopping does me in without even breaking a sweat.

An the other hand, Yella seems to get more energy as we shop. Clearly, not a good match.

So, back we go to the first place and buy a sofa and dining room table. Now we just have to figure out how to get it to our house. They can not deliver on a road like ours.

The traffic in David is brutal. In order to get out into a street, you have to push and bully your way out, almost nudging the bumper of the blocking car, and it is all in the spirit of Panamanian driving. No one gets pissed...well, except for me.

We eat at the Nacional Hotel which has a Sunday Morning style buffet that is great, for about $6 apiece with tip and drink. As we are eating, the sky opens up with a crash of thunder.

Wow, can it rain here. Impressive.

We drive back to Boquete to our house to drop off a couple of things and...

Get pissed!

Why? Nothing is being done. For most of the week.

And that's the way it goes here.

There is an automatic cultural force that arises in the face of progress and SHUTS IT DOWN.

Always. No sense getting excited. You will always be disappointed.