Bumper Cars Latin Style

It's been a few days.  I have been so frustrated with my  inability to get anything done that I have been unable to screw up any humor.  So here is my feeble attempt.

My thoughts about driving in Panama.

Yesterday evening, in total darkness, the car in front of me had no tail lights, the car at the intersecting road had no lights what so ever and, of course, it was raining.  

I had a firm grip on the steering wheel, with white knuckles, eyes scanning the horizon, periodically gazing behind me, at an elevated state of consciousness.  It was not enough.  

You can NEVER let your guard down driving in Panama.  A simple loss of attention will cost you a accident because you can't logically predict what the traffic...vehicles, pedestrians, bicycles, etc...will do.

Anything is possible.  Cars stop on the road.  Cars blow by you at insane speeds, in the middle of a congested village.   And the all time favorite, driving 5 to 10 miles per hour, yes truly that slow, forever and ever!

Now about the horn.  I like the way they use the horn...liberally and with purpose.  

I must mention this first.  Rarely does a Panamanian driver act in anger.  This is very important. If the horn was used in anger, all the benefit and courtesy would be lost.  This absence of anger is so un-American!  Where is the finger when you need it?

The horn is tapped to let a pedestrian known a car is approaching; when you are going to pass; if you think someone might pull out in front of you; to move someone over (this is required a lot); to give someone permission to pull out; to say hi; and, sometimes, just to pass the time of day.

Needless to say, a car without a horn is impotent.  You might as well be out of fuel if your horn is broken.

Another hazard from left field.  They tint all the window glass very dark.  At night you simply can't see.  I frequently roll down my side windows to get a good look.  Am I the only one who looks?  

So, is it dangerous to drive or ride?  Hmmm?  Yes and no.  All vehicles, that is every last one, has some kind of minor damage.  But is this so different than home?  No one in panama repairs damage so all of it is visible.  Thankfully, they have no incestuous relationship with sheet metal as we do in the good ole USA.  This incessant running down to the body shop to repair dents is preposterous and we should be ashamed of ourselves.  Really!

All kidding aside, there is real danger with the drunks on the road.  It gets amplified because vehicles sometimes have no lights.  I am a little hesitant to drive at night when drunkenness is more prevalent.

So. if you are looking for aversion therapy for your OCD fixing of dents, come on down.

If you are an adventure seeker, a roller coaster rider, jump out of airplanes, play Russian Roulette, come on down.

If you have an obsession with fixing automobile lights, for God's sake, come on down!