The Path to Freedom may be Surprising

There is a lot of freedom in admitting a mistake.  And, I have to admit a big one.

That is moving to Panama.

Actually, the way we moved to Panama has been the mistake.  And, I am the one behind the way we moved.

Over and over, in books and in person, we were told DO NOT BUY ANYTHING in a foreigncountry until you live there for one year.  Rent during this period, then buy and/or build if it is really what you want.

I violated that advise...and we have paid the price.  I know the prudence of this advice first hand now.  

I must confess to some arrogance, no surprise to most of you who know me.  

I knew all the problems people were having down here; struggling to build and finish a house; tales of being ripped off; couples with one thrilled to be here and one who is not; and many, many comments that this is not for everyone.

I heard this and I simply didn't think it would apply to us.  After all, I am a project manager and know how to get something done, I didn't think people would rip me off, and Yella and I had worked everything out before we came here, or so I thought.

I don't care how good you are in the USA at getting something done, you won't do it here. (Luckily, to date, we haven't been ripped off--knock on wood!)  And, the conditions that would make life good here, especially for Yella, are not really panning out.  

That changes everything.  

I promised Yella a finished house by February 1st...of this year...we will be lucky to have a house finished by February 1st, 2010.  The other thing I promised Yella is a telephone and Internet connection that is reliable...and that just ain't so.  The phone is down many hours each day and I won't even go into the Internet.  

I broke my promises to Yella.  And, it will take me 6 to 12 months to make good on them.

You may be asking, "why is he saying all this?  Do we really have to hear this introspective clap trap?"

Here is the point.  I have been avoiding admitting the mistake, so I have been forced to justify the move, defend Panama and run around putting out fires trying to make Panama OK.

There is no peace in that.  

But there is great peace in admitting a mistake.  Now I can go on with the freedom to either stay here if it all works out or leave and embark on a new adventure, if that is appropriate.  I can quit fighting the absolute necessity of making Panama work.  It will either work or it won't.  Now I can let it run it's course.

Before you tell everyone we're coming home, I have to stay until the house is completed.  That will take 6 to 12 months.  You should know that most people here say it takes 6 to 12 months to settle in and start enjoying Panama.  So by having a self imposed 12 months in Panama, we might, just might, make the cut and stay.

I'm betting on it!

And to wax even more philosophically...

If I hadn't made the mistake, we would not have moved.  So, in the end, maybe a mistake is required to do something really bold.