I Just Can't Seem to Pull It Together

Bitching Warning: The following is graphic complaining and whining which maybe detrimental to your sanity. Continue at your own risk.

It happened again...

Rage!

I have had more episodes of rage in the last 9 months than in my entire life.

No kidding.

I was doing pretty good until after lunch. See the previous blog for details.

Then Yella suggested we go to David to shop for furniture because we were so close. I should have said no but I didn't.

I really should have said no.

I don't do well with little details.

We started looking for a few things.

The conversation goes like this: would you like this or that, that or this, how about this, no maybe that, a little wider, no, a little bigger and on and on and on and on and on and on...

I can't handle it. Maybe there is something wrong with me. I simply can't handle it.

We get to the new house and a new version of "this or that" starts up. Noooooooooo!!!!

Then we are finally going to leave and "just one more thing" fires up...and just one more thing...and just one more thing...

Can't we leave now!

It is like being in hell. Stuck in an elevator, with lousy elevator music playing, being asked the same question over and over, doing the same just one more thing again and again and again...

You get the picture.

I know this is what it takes to furnish and decorate a house. BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT!!!!

Can't I get a pass on this one. I will give anything. PLEASE!!!

Then all the drainage improvements that we had been working on for the last 2 weeks (and $1500) couldn't handle the downpour today. All that work and planning down the drain, or I should say, not down the drain.

I lost it.

What I try to accomplish doesn't work.

What makes matters worse is that my non-accomplishments leave me with no time to do what I want. Simple things like get some exercise for God's sake.

And, we are in "living in 2 house hell" that boils life down to constant running back and forth. The round trip time is 60 minutes. You sure as hell don't want to do that too many times a day!

Someone shoot me now!!!

God, I'm pissed.

And disgusted with myself because I fall down this rat hole again and again and again...

F@#$%!!!!

(How's that for some self pity?)