Incompetence...Not All It's Cracked Up to Be

In my past life, most of my time was spent doing things I knew how to do. I was proficient and successful at most of it.

I liked that!

Now I am wondering around in activities that I am marginally good at...or even worse, bad...or just honing my skills. Learning and developing. Trying and failing. Ahead 2 steps and back 3.

Struggling and suffering...

I want to be back at those things that I was good at!

The music for the current play is an example of this.

The play had a short 4 week rehearsal schedule. I was gone a week in LA and then Yella was sick for about a week, leaving only 2 weeks to practice.

It takes me time to learn new music. I'm just not proficient enough to be fast.

First, I try to learn "Here Comes the Sun." No go. To difficult. So we cut it. I wasn't happy about that. I just needed a little more time....

Then I learned a blues song for another singer and she cuts it because she was having difficulties. I worked hard on it and, finally had it down. Damn!

Then, I LOOSE the ability to play a boom-chuck, country song that I used to play. What the hell happened there? So Yella is doing it without guitar, alone, no accompaniment. More humiliation.

Last night, at the first performance, we try a new beginning to the first song and it goes bad. I really hated that! As I tried to recover, I missed notes and generally sounded like I am all thumbs....Grrrrr.....

We scored on the next song. Hurray!

The following song, I play for the other singer, and someone turned off my guitar mike, so the audience can't hear the guitar, leaving her naked, without solid accompaniment.

I played one more song with Yella and it went well. She killed the song she did alone.

A very frustrating night and last 2 weeks.

I am so tired of being incompetent.

I long for days of competency.

On a brighter note, there were some great performances in the play.

I watched a new lady play a meek, mild, whiny character to perfection. Everyone wanted to slap her. Now that is good stuff!

I watched a 76 year old pro play a young lady who was all a twitter (Yes, this was actually a word before all the attention deficit bullshit called "twitter" got popular) about marrying her boyfriend. I was standing in the wings, unable to see her, listening to a "young lady" being portrayed on stage. What a pro...and at 76 years old.

Great stuff!

Well, I have to go...the last performance is tonight. I sure hope it goes better!

Break a leg!