Nightmare with Broadway Review

Who would take a part in a Broadway Review, singing a duet, if you can't sing?

I am stumped because I sure as hell wouldn't do it.

But that is what happened.

3 weeks ago, I met with the piano player, director and my partner for a broadway duet song to figure out the key for the song. In lay terms, that means how high or low we will sing the song.

The piano player plays the intro and my partner starts to sing...no I can't call it singing and I don't know what to call it because it was so bad...and misses the opening note by at least half an octave, never gets close to the melody in the first verse and makes it impossible for anyone else to sing their part. Granted, I'm not a proficient singer myself, but I can at least hit the notes.

Not this time.

When someone is singing, no, making a-tonal noise, in your ear, it is difficult to hear the piano and find the note, so I miss my lead in notes too. Grrrrrr!!!!!!

We rehearse the next week and it is even worse. For God's sake, why would anyone try to sing a song when they can't sing?

We rehearsed again last night, with all the dancers and such, and get to the song part and, you guessed it, no go...my partner missed the notes by a half octave and I couldn't find mine.

The director now is refusing to even discuss this with me because I am so pissed about it. As I open my mouth to say, "this is rediculous..." she starts to talk over me to shut me up.

F#@$%!

Now even more nonsense starts.

One of the "dancers" and I use this term loosely because he must be 80 years old and 150 pounds over weight, is deaf and can't hear any of the directions. So the director is now screaming the dance steps out so he can hear.

Another couple, literally 90 years old, starts to collapse during the rehearsal from exhaustion...we were standing for a few minutes.

Now, I have a lot of room for the older people to learn slowly and participate, even though it is, well, too strange to imagine. But at some point you have to say, "enough!"

I sooooo regret the day I agreed to this part. It is only 5 minutes long and may require more rehearsal than the entire play I was in earlier this year.

And, who knows, we will may NEVER sing the damn song. We may have to resort to talking the "song"! Of course, it will not be a song anymore because THERE IS NO SINGING. You see a song is sung. Am I getting too simple here!!!!

Oh, how I hate to make a fool of myself on stage!