This is The-Real-Deal, meaning playing with a rock and roll band...not the theatrical productions I have played with over the last 2 years.
One big difference, it was loud, loud, loud. I am not comfortable playing at that level. Any mistake is amplified to earsplitting volume and projected out into the room. And plenty of alcohol is required to tolerate this much noise.
Not an option for me.
We had sound check before people showed up, and all the sound was balanced and under control. I was suffering from the illusion that our volume would be the same during the performance.
I must be getting old. I have little tolerance for high volume bands now. I want the sound to fill the room, not part everyone's hair.
So when it came time for me to play, not much was heard by the audience because the volume had come up considerably. Probably a good thing. I was all thumbs and gave a marginal performance at best.
Before we started, I was talking to a guitarist with a group who put out a rock opera last year. Their album has been reviewed favorably by many including "Vanity Fair". They were doing the middle set last night. Very accomplished musicians and amazing music.
We talked the usual "I'm a guitarist" stuff. He kept telling me how well I play. This makes me nervous because, in truth, I am not that good. Most people think I have false modesty about my guitar playing.
Not so. I am barely capable of playing on stage. And some nights, I am all thumbs.
Which I was last night. It was a good thing that my volume was low.
After I played, he told me, "Keep on playing, don't quit." That is code for, "You have a long way to go...don't let your marginal performance stop you from playing." That is why I get nervous when people compliment me before they hear me play live in front of an audience.
It all left me feeling uncertain about continuing to play with a band.
Even though I practice daily and put in mucho time, it takes me several weeks to learn a song. If I have to learn a lead, it takes several months.
So improvement is tedious. Then I get on stage and most of what I know disappears during the live performance.
Damn!
I am left feeling somewhat hopeless. My re-entry to playing rock and roll was less than satisfying.
I was disappointed.
3 comments:
ahhhh, the pictures of how things SHOULD be. never had a bad day without them... Hell, it is great to just play, mediocre or not, what a gift to be able to express in this way! I, at least, am Happy for You. I Loved the performing video - always a kick. See You soon. Darshan
...and the 'mediocre' was your evaluation - I really ENJOYED your playing! Darshan
After I got off the pity pot, I realized that I get to play with 2 people that think my playing contributes to the music. IF I were in the states, I probably couldn't find anyone to play with.
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